IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”
1 Mythology: Finnish
"Our knowledge about Finnish mythology comes mainly from Kalevala (The Finnish National Epic), and some oral traditions. Kalevala is composed of a set of poems collected by Elias Lönnrot in the 19th century.
It contains something from Viking adventurers, stone age myths, Christian influences, and country folklore. Kalevala was basically oral before Lönnrot, so it is not an original work, even if the poems may seem original themselves.” X
HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
There ain’t no party like a Capulet party, ‘cause a Capulet party introduces the plot
I am literally spilling bells from my ass so my great idea is to just give them away
There’ll be 5 winners,
1st prize: 5,000,000 bells and 5 pink roses(or 6,000,000 bells and no roses)
2nd prize: 5,000,000 bells (and the 5 roses if the first prize winner doesn’t want them)
3rd prize: 3,000,000 bells
4th prize: 2,000,000 bells
5th prize: 1,000,000 bells
- Reblog and like as many times as you want
- You don’t have to follow me but if you are I’ll throw in like another million bells
Yeah that’s it just go at ‘er
It’ll end May 30th sometime
Purr = happy cat noise
Gato = Spanish for cat
Purgatory = infinite realm of happy Spanish cats